I had an epitome today. I felt a little old after I realized how naive I have been about the realization. There have been a couple of incidents that occurred this weekend that I am sure initialized this thought. So here is how I made this assumption.
1. Ran into an old roommate my age who has three children!
2. Went to a wedding reception of an old friend. He got back from his mission about a year ago.
3. Was in my parent's ward and found that a girl was actually a couple years younger than me, when I thought she was a couple of years older.
What does this all mean?
I'M STINKIN' OLD!
Yes, yes I realize that I had my 25th birthday over a month ago and I should have had the epitome then; granted, my mother did celebrate it with the Disney Princess theme.
I think the feeling came most from the event of visiting some old friends. It seemed that their lives had changed and progressed so much, while mine seemed to remain in the progressive state of normal and same. School, school and more school. I know I shouldn't feel that way when I know I have actually accomplished a few things.
1. I've accumulated a few diplomas
2. I can actually write RN behind my name- A. Bluth RN (yeah, I think it looks cool too)
3. I've been to 7 countries
4. I'm working toward the whole career thing. . .(hoping that comes sooner than later)
5. I've made many great friends to last a lifetime
So why this strange feeling of non-accomplishment and general lameness?
Maybe it's because I did what all my teachers suggested when I was younger and made my list of ambitions and goals. Sad enough, a lot of those ambitions will never come true. Somehow what was important when your 18, changes over a period of 7 years. For instance, I doubt I will ever meet the Queen of England and I'm not feeling too sad about it. Although, I admit it would be pretty awesome; she is stellar lady!
Maybe I'm the type who has always had the desire to be able to tell my future grandchildren of all the crazy things I did growing up. . .but I've never quite lived up to the potential to impress those future grandchildren. I guess I should more hope that I will be a fun-loving, good grandmother when I get there. I would be proud to be this lady here.
Maybe it's the fact that I made a general bet in high school that I wouldn't get married until I was 28, but never thought that I could actually make it. Not that I am anxiously awaiting for that day, but it does make it difficult to be a LDS single when the subject of most conversations begin with, "so are you dating anyone?" Part of me likes to be stubborn and prove to everyone that you don't have to follow the typical Mormon customs and instead go a little faux pas. The other part starts to wonder if there is something wrong with me; for instance, I have friends my age who have now been married twice and I haven't managed to do it once.
Maybe it's the fact that the grass always seems to be greener on the other side. I do enjoy my (for the most part) care free life. When I see a friend who appears exhausted and holding her dear little one, I always seem to appreciate the fact that at least when I'm tired, it is because of my own stupidity.
I don't have a real answer to why I have felt so lame this past weekend, but in reality I have nothing to complain about. I wake up most mornings with a smile and a general zest to see, learn, and grow. The majority of the time it is with a smile, and even when there is a tear or two, I always have someone around willing to listen and help me through a problem. Really, my life is pretty awesome.
I love towing with the idea that within the next year I could be living in a complete obscure location. . .(I always pray that it will be warm). :) The point of this long story is that I am not sure what life holds for me, but the point is that it is my life, and it shouldn't be compared to anyone else. Some good friends and I are constantly making predictions on what everyone will end up doing with their life. (Where they will end up, what they will do, who they will marry etc). We started doing it 4 years ago and all of us have, on and off, lived with each other over the past few years without any of those predictions occurring. So, I've decided to create a new prediction:
Drum Roll Please. . .
My new prediction is that all of us will end up being red hat ladies who still live with one another and carry candy in our purses to church so little kids will like us. :)
Girls you know who you are. I hope you are looking forward to living with me again in 50 years. haha Love you girls and happy aging!
I think the feeling came most from the event of visiting some old friends. It seemed that their lives had changed and progressed so much, while mine seemed to remain in the progressive state of normal and same. School, school and more school. I know I shouldn't feel that way when I know I have actually accomplished a few things.1. I've accumulated a few diplomas
2. I can actually write RN behind my name- A. Bluth RN (yeah, I think it looks cool too)
3. I've been to 7 countries
4. I'm working toward the whole career thing. . .(hoping that comes sooner than later)
5. I've made many great friends to last a lifetime
So why this strange feeling of non-accomplishment and general lameness?
Maybe it's because I did what all my teachers suggested when I was younger and made my list of ambitions and goals. Sad enough, a lot of those ambitions will never come true. Somehow what was important when your 18, changes over a period of 7 years. For instance, I doubt I will ever meet the Queen of England and I'm not feeling too sad about it. Although, I admit it would be pretty awesome; she is stellar lady!
Maybe I'm the type who has always had the desire to be able to tell my future grandchildren of all the crazy things I did growing up. . .but I've never quite lived up to the potential to impress those future grandchildren. I guess I should more hope that I will be a fun-loving, good grandmother when I get there. I would be proud to be this lady here.
Maybe it's the fact that I made a general bet in high school that I wouldn't get married until I was 28, but never thought that I could actually make it. Not that I am anxiously awaiting for that day, but it does make it difficult to be a LDS single when the subject of most conversations begin with, "so are you dating anyone?" Part of me likes to be stubborn and prove to everyone that you don't have to follow the typical Mormon customs and instead go a little faux pas. The other part starts to wonder if there is something wrong with me; for instance, I have friends my age who have now been married twice and I haven't managed to do it once.
Maybe it's the fact that the grass always seems to be greener on the other side. I do enjoy my (for the most part) care free life. When I see a friend who appears exhausted and holding her dear little one, I always seem to appreciate the fact that at least when I'm tired, it is because of my own stupidity.
I don't have a real answer to why I have felt so lame this past weekend, but in reality I have nothing to complain about. I wake up most mornings with a smile and a general zest to see, learn, and grow. The majority of the time it is with a smile, and even when there is a tear or two, I always have someone around willing to listen and help me through a problem. Really, my life is pretty awesome.
I love towing with the idea that within the next year I could be living in a complete obscure location. . .(I always pray that it will be warm). :) The point of this long story is that I am not sure what life holds for me, but the point is that it is my life, and it shouldn't be compared to anyone else. Some good friends and I are constantly making predictions on what everyone will end up doing with their life. (Where they will end up, what they will do, who they will marry etc). We started doing it 4 years ago and all of us have, on and off, lived with each other over the past few years without any of those predictions occurring. So, I've decided to create a new prediction:
Drum Roll Please. . .
My new prediction is that all of us will end up being red hat ladies who still live with one another and carry candy in our purses to church so little kids will like us. :)
Girls you know who you are. I hope you are looking forward to living with me again in 50 years. haha Love you girls and happy aging!
hahahah... once again, hahahaha. And don't worry Ash, I went to church at my hometown last week, only to find that a student of mine who I taught in Colorado was now in the single's ward! It was so great to see her, but man, did I feel old and completely out of place when she came up and said, "Ms. Danowski, how are you?"
ReplyDeleteIn any case though, bring on the red hats! I've been told several times that I look quite stunning in red :)
hahaha- Tis true. At least people don't call me ms bluth!
ReplyDeleteYou know I did it for you. I wanted to make sure that you would look absolutely stunning in a good color for your pretty face! Start picking the location.